Women, so poignantly honest, for women - SEX EDUCATION. GIRL’S EDITION
Seven young women undress themselves with their words and reveal their bare souls to the audience. Seven testimonies about tears, dread, unhealed scars and fury. There are seven figures standing before us, yet their words sound almost hauntingly similar. The Ukrainian Theater Association The LAVA Team reveal their inner world and share a piece of it with us, in a play inspired by their own experiences with growing up.
I am twelve years old, and I just got my first period at PE. I do not know why it is happening. I do not know what is happening. Am I dying? Hot blood runs down my inner thighs and stains the fabric of my pants. The silence in the gymnasium is broken by the teacher’s sharp whistle. Kids laughing and a chilling command to immediately fix this. But I don’t even know what I'm supposed to fix. What sounds like a tampon commercial is a bitter reality for a little girl.
Menstruation is an integral part of puberty. Menstruation means that the woman's body is healthy. Shouldn’t we be proud of it? Shouldn’t we even celebrate the fact that everything is okay with our bodies? Why does society teach us to be ashamed to ask for a tampon? That a period is something disgusting and dirty? Something we should keep quiet about, and rather keep it to ourselves? Why doesn’t the mother explain to her own daughter why she is bleeding down there? Menstruation hasconnected us, women, since forever, and is an integral part of each of us.
I am thirteen years old, and my body is starting to change. My chest and hips are growing, my hair is greasy, and I have pimples on my face. I'm suddenly so different, so fat, so ugly. Why am I suddenly so mean to myself? I stop eating, I start using make-up, I start to secretly do sit-ups every night in my bedroom. No, Mom, I’m not hungry. I ate at school already. I lie so I can be beautiful. But I am ugly. Do you recognize yourself? Does this feel like reading your diary?
Girls are taught the women's beauty standard from a young age. They are taught that women’s purpose is to be thin and beautiful. Never forget to smile. Girls should be seen, not heard. Girls do not eat dessert so they can stay skinny. Our entire lives, we are told how we should look. Big breasts, narrow waist, perfect skin, shiny hair, full lips. But who set those rules? Who has the right to decide about the value of women based on their looks? And who even decided what it means to be beautiful? Beauty is complex and diverse – not objective.
And when we finally dare to love ourselves, society goes crazy. What is so wrong about self-love? Why does the world hate it when a lady likes her own looks? Maybe because she is realizing her own worth and is becoming dangerously free.
I am fourteen years old, and I am watching porn. The woman in the movie is moaning in pleasure, and her knees are shaking. I feel a weird shivering feeling in my lower belly, and I am timidly exploring my privates. I should feel ashamed. Girls don’t do this. I am drowning in shame from my own pleasure. Are you ashamed of your masturbation to this day?
The bitter feeling of impure thoughts. The instant regret that comes right after thinking about pleasing ourselves. The shame of lust. At school, we are told about boys masturbating, but for girls, this topic is usually neglected, unspoken, and forgotten. It’s a secret that good girls don’t talk about. As if it wereunthinkable for a woman to want the experience of pleasure.
I am twenty years old, and I want to have sex. Yes, I said it. Why is it so wrong? Why, as a woman, can Inot admit that I like sex? Why do I have to be so chaste, pure, unstained? I should stay a virgin, but atthe same time, I am expected to be experienced and wild in bed.
It is not expected of women to initiate sex. They should always want it when it is demanded and expected from them. It is expected of them to always agree with sex, yet never be lustful. Why is it like this? Why can’t a woman say out loud that she is hungry for pleasure? Women are seen as dirty as soon as they discover their sexuality. But sexuality goes hand in hand with growing up. Does growing up for a woman mean losing purity?
We women carry collective rage. A certain bitterness in our souls. Maybe that is why the seven stories of the protagonists uncomfortably merge into one choking pill that we all have to swallow. We are like a basketball team, where each of us knows the rules of the game by heart. And just like in the match, so in life:,we must be strong and sometimes even abrasive to reach our goal.
And just like a basketball team, we women stand together. We stay close together when we are discovering our bodies, just as we stay close together when trying to score a basket. We experience falls and setbacks and celebrate our victories as well. Victory is not just scoring a point. Victory is not giving up but rather trying again and again and again. Victory is to accept ourselves with all our imperfections and flaws.
In the cruel world, the strongest weapon is self-love. That is what the seven women in the play Sex Education: Girls Edition talk about. About accepting your own body. About women not being sinners just for having a vagina. That women want sex as well. And that they don’t want to stay silent about their struggles, but let the world know about them. How important it is to play for your basketballteam.
You need to be brave to stand on the stage and say out loud the things that are supposed to be hidden in silence. You need to be brave to break the silence and go out on a limb. The LAVA Team is not speaking just for themselves, but for each woman in the audience. They are the voice for those who are still ashamed. For those who crave freedom, yet are still scared to fly.
The author: Alena Růžičková
The photographer: Nik Machal